Of Wallcrawlers and Holograms
by Courier999
Summary: Set in AU of Red Witch's "Misfits Universe". Peter Parker gets sent to LA to cover a Starlight press conference. Unfortunately, he gets dragged into the Holograms/Misfits rivalry as both bands try to manipulate him for positive press. Rated T for language and mild violence. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

SPIDER-MAN: Of Wallcrawlers and Holograms

 _Spider-Man_ and related characters are property of Marvel. _Jem_ and related characters are property of Hasbro. This is set in an alternate version of Red Witch's "Misfits Universe"- incorporating aspects of her fics, assorted comics, and my own Marvel and Hasbro fanfics.

Chapter 1: Parker, Do Your Job!

* * *

" _As much as I hate to admit it, I, John Jonah Jameson, must now admit that I have been completely wrong about Spider-Man and his female cohort, the Scarlet Spider. As s- PARKER!_ "

* * *

THE DAILY BUGLE OFFICES- NEW YORK CITY:

" _PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY, YOU SLACKER!_ "

Peter Parker roused himself from his nap and dragged himself into J. Jonah Jameson's office.

"You called, boss?"

"I did! Now, I've been thinking- maybe you've been doing Spider-Man photos too long. Maybe you want to actually break into journalism. Am I right?"

Peter groggily nodded.

"In that case, you're on the next flight to L.A!"

Peter's jaw dropped.

"W-"

"You heard me! I need someone to cover a press conference out there, and since Brock's on vacation in Seattle and McGee's covering those new Transformer things that've shown up in that area, you're the most qualified!"

"B-"

"Besides, you'll blend in just fine after you get a good haircut and a suit!"

Peter sank into the chair.

"When do I leave?"

"Tonight! I booked you a business-class seat, because I'm a benevolent man at heart. Unless I'm dealing with that _Spider-Man_ \- he can inhale my cigar ash!"

Peter nodded.

"I'm giving you the rest of the day off to pack, Parker."

"Boss, you never told me whose press conference I'm covering."

"It's Starlight Music's press conference!"

"Who?"

"Starlight! They're the record behind Jem and the Holograms!"

"Who?"

J. Jonah Jameson growled.

"Have you been living under a rock? They're the band who're bringing glam back!"

"And you know of them how?"

"My granddaughters are fans! Now get going!"

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

If you're wondering who Scarlet Spider is- well, it's a long story. This particular incarnation of the character is actually Mary Jane Watson (read my earlier fanfic _Spider-Man: Partners in Crime_ for more details about that). As for everyone else- it's a similar status quo to my prior Hasbro/Marvel fanfics. So if you wanted to see Jem pal around with Dazzler or Jubilee, the Red Skull sending Cobra Commander a cease and desist letter, Grimlock taking down a Sentinel, or Magneto fighting Metlar- it's all likely to happen, and with characters who've already been established.

Also, this was kind of what I was planning to do with "Musical Illusionists" back during the original concept/planning phase- incorporate it into my Marvel universe. For the record, this was before I had even started on "The Evil Below" or had even watched a single episode of "Inhumanoids".

As for changes to the status quo:

Zartan and his siblings are now Mystique's kids (meaning that yes, Nightcrawler is Zartan's brother by another mother- long story there, let's just say that back when Nightcrawler's backstory was first thought up, Mystique was his _father,_ but the Comics Code Authority put the kibosh on that idea of Chris Claremont's. And also, this means that Clash is Mystique's granddaughter- OH NO, I'VE GONE CROSS-EYED!)

Aja's a mutant speedster now (no, she's not Mystique's kid like in the pilot of eva unit 4's fanfics- here, let's just chalk it up to mutation by _in utero_ exposure to chemical fumes.)

The Brotherhood of Mutants and COBRA are teamed up (Magneto gets access to high-grade military hardware and troops, while Cobra Commander gets his pick of superpowered goons- a win-win scenario!)

The Friends of Humanity want to rid the world of Transformers AND mutants, finally giving them a good reason to use the Sentinels. Speaking of, COBRA's looking in either acquiring a few or building their own knockoffs. Because Sentinels speaking in the voice of Chris Latta's Cobra Commander is awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: In The Orange City

DIXON'S 24-HOUR COFFEE SHOP- LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA:

"Old Parker luck…" Peter grumbled as he nursed a cup of coffee.

A barista walked up to the _Daily Bugle_ photographer.

"Hey there, handsome. What's a guy like you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm a newspaper photographer and closest thing to a journalist they could send out here to cover a music company's press conference. And I've got jet lag." Peter replied.

"Where're you staying?"

"Currently nowhere. My reservation got cancelled at the last minute because the hotel was being fumigated, and where am I going to check into a hostel at two in the morning?"

The barista spun one of her earrings.

"Well, there's a place up in the Beverley Hills. It's called Starlight Mansion-"

"Sounds like someone's house to me. I'll take my chances in a motel."

"Hear me out, buddy. I happen to live there, and the owner'll let you crash there for as long as you need."

Peter sighed.

"Thanks, M-"

"Holloway. Laura Holloway. I'll drive you there when my shift ends in an hour."

Peter nodded and sunk into his chair.

* * *

TWO HOURS LATER:

"How was work, Laura?"

"Fine, Jess. Brought someone home with me."

Jessica Benton sighed.

"I thought we'd talked about d-"

At that moment, a very groggy Peter Parker dragged himself to the front door.

"We met a few hours ago. He's with the press."

Peter nodded as Jessica turned her gaze upon him.

"Who are you, exactly?"

"Peter Parker, _Daily Bugle_. I'm here to cover a Starlight Music press conference, and I had trouble finding a place to stay."

Jessica sighed.

"You can stay here, Mister Parker. Now let's get you to bed."

"Okay, Miss- what's your name?"

"Benton. Jessica Benton."

"Thanks for letting me crash here, Miss Benton." Peter yawned.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Rude Awakening

" _Wake up sunshine! Open up your sleepy e-"_

Peter reflexively slammed his fist against the alarm clock and went back to sleep.

 _Is it too much to ask for another hour or s-_

As if on cue, he felt a cold mist hit him across the face. Awakened, his reflexes kicked in and he leapt up to the ceiling and stuck there.

"That was weird." a young girl piped up.

Peter looked down and saw a young girl about eight years old holding a spray bottle.

"Pay no attention to the strange man stuck on your ceiling." he half-heartedly wisecracked.

" _Ba Nee? Is Mister Parker up yet?_ "

Peter dropped down from the ceiling as someone walked down the hallway.

"He is." the girl answered.

As if on cue, Jessica Benton stepped into the doorway.

"Anything I can do you for, Mister Parker?" she asked.

"You got anything to eat? I'm on the verge of dropping from starvation."

Jessica cracked a smile at her guest's response.

"Breakfast is waiting."

"Does it come with coffee? I'm not a morning person."

"Then join most of us here at Starlight. We've got enough coffee to keep a mathematician awake for days."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Playing The Press

"Hey, Roxy! Give me the binoculars!" Pizzazz ordered.

"Get your own!"

"Those _are_ my binoculars, you nimrod!"

Stormer raised her head up from behind the couch.

"What's all the fuss about?"

"The boss lady's got someone staying in her house. From the looks of things, he's a journo." Roxy answered.

"For what? A respectable paper or one of those paparazzi that take our pictures for the screamsheets?" Jetta asked.

Roxy groaned as she handed the binoculars to Pizzazz.

"And we zoom in… looks like Benton's mystery guest is from the _Daily Bugle_."

Jetta's eyes lit up, and a smirk appeared on her face.

"Hey, Pizzazz! How's our PR?"

"Lackluster. Why do y-"

"How about we play the press to get some good ink generated about us, ducky?"

Pizzazz grinned at the thought.

"Good thinking, Brit-brat."

* * *

"So, this is the guy Laura brought home."

Peter scanned the kitchen as he walked in.

"Aja, you could be a little b-" Jessica began.

"She hasn't had her caffeine yet, big sis." a redheaded woman piped up.

The blue-haired woman who apparently answered to "Aja" nodded as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Want a cup?" she asked Peter.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Call me Aja." came the reply.

Peter took a seat at the table and watched as Aja poured him a mug.

"Go on. It's not poisoned."

Peter raised the mug to his lips and took a brief drink. Almost immediately, his spider-sense went off.

"What's in this stuff?"

"Coffee. Brewed with more coffee." came the reply.

 _In other words, J. Jonah Jameson's favorite brew._ Peter thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Change of Assignment

"Please run that by me again, Mr. Jameson."

" _Are you deaf, Parker? I told you that McGee's finished up his story on the Transformers, and now he's handling the press conference. Your new assignment is to do some stories on the Holograms and the Misfits- how they got started, their rivalry, and so on. Play it right, and you're going places._ "

"I understand."

Peter ended the call, put his cellphone back in his pocket, and adjusted his sunglasses as he lay there on the back patio of Starlight Mansion.

 _Consider this something of a paid vacation, Peter. A week or two of good weather, no villains, and all I have to do is write up some articles about rock musicians. Maybe I should send J. Jonah a fruit basket sometime soon._ he thought.

"Hey, you!" a woman called out.

Peter rose up from the sunchair and approached the source of the summons. Standing across a nearby hedge was a woman with a tacky green hairdo.

"What's going on?" Peter asked.

"Are you that reporter crashing at the Benton place?"

"I'm not a reporter _per se_. I'm a photographer. And yes, Miss Benton was gracious enough to let me stay in her house-"

"I've heard enough. Let's get the names out of the way. You go first."

"Peter Parker. I'm from the _Daily Bugle_ -"

"Aren't you that guy who keeps getting good pictures of Spider-Man?"

"The same. Now, who are you?"

The green-haired woman cleared her throat.

"Phyllis Gabor. Most people call me Pizzazz if they know what's good for them. If they don't, then bad news for them."

"Wait- aren't you the frontwoman of the Misfits?" Peter asked.

"Got me there." Pizzazz snarked.

Peter reached out for his notepad.

"Cool it, newshound. If you want an interview, you're going to need to wait until tonight. Meet me and my band in Hollywood at a club called Dante's at 9:00. Do we understand each other, Mister Parker?"

Peter nodded.

"Good. I'll meet you there."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Interview With The Misfits

DANTE'S- LOS ANGELES ARTS DISTRICT:

"Do you have a reservation, Mister Parker?" the bouncer asked.

Peter whipped out his press pass.

"You covering our humble little club?"

"No. It's just that I set up an interview with some VIPs here-"

"In you go."

* * *

To normal eyes, the inside of Dante's was dimly lit, as if it were illuminated by gaslight. Jarringly, the sounds of late 20th Century synthesizer music blared throughout the establishment. As Peter's enhanced eyes made the club seem brighter, he promptly whipped out his sunglasses and checked his watch.

 _And it's 9:00-_

"Parker! Where are you?!"

 _Think of the devil and she appears._

Peter swiveled around and saw the Misfits enter the club.

"So…you want to buy the ladies some drinks?" Pizzazz seductively purred.

Peter meekly nodded and watched as the Misfits made their way to an empty table.

* * *

"What'll it be?" a waiter asked.

"Retsina." Pizzazz ordered.

"Hard cider." Roxy added.

"Absinthe." Jetta added.

"Ice water." Stormer ordered.

"A Shirley Temple." Peter finished.

The Misfits stared at him.

"I'm here to get a story, remember? Also, can we save the drinks for after the interview?"

Pizzazz groaned.

"Fire away. I don't really care."

Peter cleared his throat.

* * *

"So, how'd you four get together in the first place?" he asked.

"Stormer and I met in college. When we graduated, she followed me back home to LA. Right after we got back here, we picked up Roxy. That was- oh, about three or four years ago." Pizzazz answered.

"And then what?"

"We bounced from club to club for a couple years until we got picked up by the Cerulean Club. They made us their house band, and that's where we got picked up by Eric Raymond- well except for Jetta. Eric picked her up about a month after he did us."

"Who's Eric Raymond?"

"Old manager. Used to run half of Starlight until _she_ showed up." Pizzazz explained.

"Which brings me to the next question- how'd your rivalry with the H-"

"They beat us at what were supposed to be our first big performances. But the thing is, it's not nearly as intense now as it was then. Long story there, Mr. Parker, but let's say we've been through a lot of weird stuff."

Peter finished scrawling down Pizzazz's answer and put his notepad away.

* * *

HALF AN HOUR LATER:

" _God save the Queen- the fascist regime!_ " a drunken Jetta sang as the Misfits climbed into a nearby cab.

Pizzazz mouthed "Gabor Mansion- Beverley Hills" to the cabby and thrust a few hundred dollar bills into his hand before assuming her seat.

"And will someone shut Brit-brat up?!" she screamed.

In the dark backseat of the cab, Peter leaned in and shot some webbing over Jetta's mouth.

 _It'll do for now._ he thought as the lights of Downtown Los Angeles passed by in the window.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Wrong Turn For Peter

"Hello? Anybody here?" Peter asked as he walked into Starlight Mansion.

Silence.

"Well, be that way. I'll just stay up, get some work done before bed, sleep on your couch or ceiling. Don't mind me."

And with that, Peter took a left turn and opened a door to a sparingly furnished room.

 _Well, at least I won't be distracted here_. he thought as he took his laptop out from his messenger bag.

Peter sat down, opened up the computer, and began typing up his story on the Misfits. As he did so, he heard a low electric hum.

 _I can power through this. I can power through this_ -

The hum began to irritate him more and more as he worked.

 _I will power through th-_

The hum finally ate away at the last vestige of his patience.

"I have had it up to here!" he bellowed as he approached the right wall.

Peter swung his fist into the wall and was astounded to see it keep going.

"What the-"

Peter leaned in closer and poked his head through the holographic wall.

"Clever. Never would've th- what's that?"

His eyes gravitated towards a computer terminal that resembled a purple pipe organ.

"Whoa."

Just then, he heard footsteps heading towards the door.

 _One place to go- up!_ he thought as he withdrew his head from the hidden room.

* * *

Jessica Benton creaked the door open and entered the room, failing to notice that Peter was lying flat on his stomach on the ceiling. She proceeded through the holographic wall, thus vanishing from Peter's sight.

 _That was close._ he thought as he dropped back down and ran out the door.

* * *

"Synergy, are you sure it wasn't just a draft?"

" _I'm positive, Jessica. There was somebody in here a short time ago._ "


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Plot Thickens

"Los Angeles- home sweet home." a woman proclaimed.

Jackson Brice emerged from the unmarked van he and his cohort had "borrowed" outside of Phoenix.

"But why'd we leave New York, Myst-" he began.

"You call me Francis when I'm out of costume. I don't call you Shocker when you're out of costume, so return the favor."

"But Francis, why'd you bring me? Why didn't you bring the Doc or Felicia or Maxine-"

"Jackson, stop your blathering and get back to work. It's for LA to meet Shocker and Mysterio first-hand."

"But I don't think they're used to people with fishbowls over their heads in Los Angeles-"

"That's the point, you nimrod! This isn't New York, where costumed crooks are such a regular occurrence that the police have a special code for them!"

"But there's nothing for us to rob here. I mean, back in the Big Apple, there was all kinds of stuff for us to rob. Remember that time Doc Ock and Felicia had us hold up FAO Schwarz? That was f-"

"Jackson, stop your blathering _now_. I've got a lead from a friend about something that'll make us rich as kings."

"Is it somebody I already know? And can he make it so my gauntlets don't make my wrists hurt? 'Cause I think they're giving me carpal tunnel-"

Francis Klum turned and socked her cohort.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

If you're wondering why Mysterio is a woman here, the character was a woman in my earlier fanfic _Spider-Man: Partners in Crime._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Mysterio's Friend

TECHRAT'S RATHOLE:

"Oh, Francis. Long time, no see-"

"Spare me the small talk, Timmy. You said there was a score up in Beverley Hills-"

"Oh yes, there's a score at a place called Starlight Mansion. We're talking 'you pull this off, you're getting your own private island' big." Techrat explained.

"But I don't want my own private island! I want my own mansion in Connecticut!" Shocker wailed.

"Aim high, you lummox." Mysterio snarked.

"Will you two just bang already?" Techrat sniped.

"Me? Do her? The rest of the Six'd have my hide. And trust me when I say Maxine'd do really bad things with those electric blasts o' hers-"

"TMI! TMI!"

"What'd I say?" Shocker asked.

"So, anything we need to know about the place we're robbing?" Mysterio asked.

"It's a home for foster girls. Meaning y-"

"Not touching this one! I'm not going anywhere near foster girls! I was raised in a home for foster girls after Dad was deemed unfit-"

"How'd you get in there?" Techrat asked.

"Paperwork error. That and I looked really girly up until I was in my mid-teens."

Techrat began banging his head against his desk.

"Why (thud)? Why (thud)? Why me lord? (thud, thud) Why why why?!"

"What'd I do?" Shocker asked.

"What's the score?" Mysterio asked.

"It's a mansion in the Beverley Hills. Probably got a good deal of valuables lying around."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Two Can Play The Hologram Game

"You sure this is going to work? I mean, who'd be dumb enough to let us in?" Shocker asked as he and Mysterio approached Starlight Mansion's front gate in full costume.

"I'll do the talking, you lummox."

Mysterio's finger hit the intercom at the gate.

" _Sorry, but Halloween isn't for a few more months. Or are you just lost cosplayers?_ " Rio's voice announced over the intercom.

"Cosplayers? How dare you insult us!" Mysterio shrieked.

" _Pizzazz? That you?_ "

"I am Mysterio, Mistress of Illusions! And you will let me in!"

" _You're just wasting my t-_ "

As if on cue, Shocker fired off his gauntlets and tore the gates right off their hinges.

* * *

"Seriously, who goes around with a fishbowl on their head?" Rio asked as he surveyed the camera feed.

Peter dashed off to find an isolated part of the house.

 _Well, guess I can't get out of being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man forever._ he thought

* * *

"Okay! We can do this the easy way or the hard way!" Shocker barked as he marched into the front entrance.

"What's the easy way?" Jessica asked.

"Er…I'm not sure. I think that's where you give me all your valuables so I don't hurt you."

"Jess, I don't think we can have an intelligent conversation with a man whose clothes are yellow, red, and black covered with fishnet." Shana deadpanned.

"But all the girlies like fishnet!" came Shocker's retort.

" _Oh, so now you're following me? I think you're outside your turf, Shocker._ " a familiar voice declared.

"That'd better not be-"

As if on cue, Spider-Man leapt down the stairs.

"The wallcrawler? Here? How'd- why-" Shocker sputtered.

"I'm on vacation. But clearly this is a busman's holiday, am I right?"

"You know what? Keep your stuff! I don't want it!" Shocker declared to Jessica.

Spider-Man mockingly waved good-bye as Shocker legged it away from the mansion.

"Thanks, I guess." Shana whispered as she looked the webhead over.

"Think nothing of it. Just your friendly neighborhood-"

"HEY, EVERYONE! IT'S SPIDER-MAN!"

Peter's spider-sense went off as he was promptly swarmed by the Starlight Girls.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: We Both Share Secrets

LOS ANGELES WHOLESALE DISTRICT- LATER THAT DAY:

"Sheesh! You're a persistent one, aren't you?" Mysterio asked as Spider-Man launched himself forward.

"Well, your predictability isn't helping you, fishbowl!" came the retort.

"Predict this, wallcrawler." Mysterio snapped back.

Before Spider-Man could reply with a witty retort, he felt the air heat around him.

"What the-"

"Sorry to break it to ya, webhead- but Mysterio's packing a laser gun!" Shocker taunted.

As if on cue, Shocker fired off his gauntlets and sent Spider-Man falling to the ground.

"You want me to beat the snot out of him, boss?" he asked.

"No. We've got better things to do. Remind me to thank our buddy Techrat for this laser gun, though." came Mysterio's reply.

As the two rogues slipped out of the warehouse, Spider-Man crawled out a nearby window.

* * *

90 MINUTES LATER:

" _-Spider-Man sighted in Wholesale District by bystanders-_ " the newscaster announced.

"I wonder what he was doing there." Kimber mused.

"Chasing that weird guy who tried to rob us blind, no doubt." Aja replied.

Just then, Jessica entered the room.

"Anyone seen Mr. Parker today?"

"Not since those two goons showed up this morning." Rio answered.

As if on cue, Peter walked into the room.

"Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" he asked.

"You missed Spider-Man, buddy." Aja snarked.

 _Play it cool, Peter. Don't blow your c-_

"So, you're the guy who's staying with us? OUTRAGEOUS!" Kimber squealed.

Kimber reached out and grabbed Peter's hand. Unfortunately for Peter, her handshake provided sufficient pressure to set off the spinnerets in his wrist. In an instant, Kimber was on the receiving end of a blast of webbing right in the face.

 _Oh crap._ Peter thought.

At that moment, the jaws of everyone in the room collectively dropped as the implications of what had just happened hit them.

"I think I should go now…" Peter began.

As if on cue, Aja grabbed the fleeing Parker's wrist.

"What g-" Peter began.

"You're not the only one here with a secret, Mister Parker." Aja announced.

"Aja- you can't be serious! What if he t-" Jessica protested.

"I don't think he'll be telling anyone else about _your_ secret." came the retort.

"What secret? Will somebody tell me what's going on?" Peter frantically asked.


End file.
